Think back to the last time you were happy. And I mean really happy, like cares-in-wind, so-perfect-you-could-stay-this-way-forever-happy, so content you can feel it from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. Touch that moment with your mind, feel its edges, revel in the way it makes you breathe easier if only for a moment. Think about what made that moment so perfect.
It was Summer 2014 and I was at a friends cabin in the Poconos. There were spiked Arnold palmers, a dock on the lake, beautiful sunny weather and two of my best friends. We listened to country music the whole weekend, spent our days down at the lake jumping into the water, floating around on inner tubes, talking about everything and nothing, eating sandwiches and getting sunburnt. It was my perfect break from the real world. I have never had so much fun or felt so comfortable in a bikini. There was so much laughter my abs hurt for days after and I swear my hair was two shades lighter from all the sun. Something about big, open fields, being real with my best friends and that cool blue water filled a part of me that had been dry and dusty for a long time.
Hold on to your happiness. Feel the edges like the worn down cover of your favorite book; lean in and remember the way it smells in the summer when the wind blows the water off the lake after a storm; close your eyes and let the wind run its fingers through your hair again. Don’t you dare forget the way the earth feels between your toes or the way the full moon tilts its head at midnight. Breathe it in, breathe it out. Put it in your pocket and don’t forget.
I think a lot about that moment when I’m feeling stressed or melancholy. Just the idea that I was happy once gives me hope that I will be happy like that again. Sometimes I think moments like that are the reason I don’t just shrivel up and blow away–like maybe they are my never-ending well of goodness that I can draw on during times of drought. During times of despair. During times of monotony. Tick tock tick tock tick tock.
Hold on to your happiness, draw from that well.
Put the world away for a minute, and let the sunshine wash your blues away.