Tag Archives: empowerment

Body Love Pt. 1

I’m going to be that cliche blogger for a tiny second here and give you the definition of life-giving, only because I tried to articulate it and didn’t quite know how. Life-giving: imparting, or having the ability to impart, life or vitality; invigorating; vitalizing. 

Going into this whole love my body thing, I must admit I thought it would be easier than this. I’d just listen to a lot of Beyonce and compliment my body. But once you become more aware of your body it’s actually harder to be nice to it because you start to pick up on so many little things. Like, oh, I didn’t notice before but I have way too much fat under my chin, or, oh, I didn’t realize how much sugar I actually eat on a regular day.

And making decisions based on loving your body is easy when you’re having a good day and feel confident or you refuse to let things bother you, but on bad days? How do you love your body when you just, don’t? When it’s rainy out and you’re wearing an oversized sweater to hide the fact that you feel bloated and gross? I hate the way it sometimes looks like I have a double chin and that I gave up soda but I now drink way too much lemonade (there’s a lot of sugar in lemonade, btw, don’t ask how much, just don’t). You can’t just suddenly be like, yes, now I will stop that.

One of my dearest friends recently gave me an idea. We had this great discussion about making decisions and how to think critically about things that are important, and she asked me to think about what is life-giving. My brain got super excited and was just like, Yes. 

So I’ve taken to asking myself, Is it life-giving?

Does staring at my chin make me feel invigorated? NO. Does constantly analyzing my eating habits make a good platform for vitality? NO. I want to be happy, to be content with who I am and what I look like, not because I fit some norm, but because I can look at myself as a person and think I am enough. Whatever that entails at the moment.

I might think that my chin is fatty or that my hair is too frizzy, or whatever. But I want to do things that are life-giving. Today I got a haircut and some lady walked in and said, “Oh, I like her hair”. And she was talking about me.

Not every day is a Beyonce day, but even Beyonce has days that are hard. That are sad. That are rough. But one thing Beyonce and I have in common, besides our rockin’ bodies, is that we don’t let those days bring us down.

“I know I’m stronger in the songs than I really am. Sometimes I need to hear it myself. We all need to hear those empowering songs to remind us.” -Beyonce Knowles

Pants, Optional

The switch from summer back to university is the bane of my existence–I hate transitional periods.

The worst part of any transition is re-establishing time management (if you even had any to begin with), which I am particularly terrible at. There’s only 24 hours in a day and we’re expected to take classes, have a job, hang out with friends and perhaps a significant other, do homework, engage in extracurricular activities and get 8 hours of sleep? It seems impossible.

But as a fledgling adult, I can tell you that it is possible. Recently I read a very inspirational quote from a mug on Etsy that went like this:

You have the same number of hours in your day as Beyoncé.

Just let that sink in. You will probably never meet Beyoncé, but you still experience time in the same way she does. If she can utilize the day like a boss and still manage to look like a beautiful slice of heaven, then you can at least put on real pants in the morning.

In honor of this life-altering revelation, take this quiz to see which Beyoncé song is your anthem. Blast that song in the morning to motivate yourself out of bed and into the shower, because, let’s be real, you probably need one.

Respect Isn’t Just for Losers

When I think of words that describe myself I don’t usually reach for feminist. But recently I’ve been engaging with people and circumstances that emphasize how important it is to stand up for myself and to demand respect as a woman.

Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.

-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

My friend and I sat down together and came up with a list of ways we can be more responsible and smart when we go out with guys, in order to protect ourselves emotionally and physically. And that right there pisses me off. Why don’t guys come up with lists of how they can treat women respectfully by looking out for their well-being and not assume we’re there so they can get some?

Our list included things like, if I have to say stop more than once I’m out and don’t be afraid to be rude. Why are we so worried about placating the guy? Why aren’t they worrying about making us feel safe and comfortable around them? I’m not a bitch because I don’t want what you want. I’m not lame if I don’t feel comfortable getting in your car. If I don’t feel safe with you, that’s your problem, not mine.

My friend pointed out that a night where her and her significant other watch tv with intermittent make-out breaks and maybe some ice cream at the end is much more of a turn on than a night where she has to continually swat his hand away from her chest and reject his advances.

Forget your balls and grow a pair of tits
It’s hard, it’s hard, it’s hard out here for a bitch.

-Lily Allen

Why is there pressure on the woman and not the man?

Feminism to me means that I am not a doormat. I have value as a woman and that means you need to respect my decisions. If I don’t want you to touch me like that, don’t. If I make it clear that I’m in a relationship, don’t think I’m just playing hard to get. I’m not a joke, my body is not a game.

The most important thing my friend and I took away from our list was that we have the power and the right to self-expression and everyone else can go fuck themselves. Never let anyone make you feel less than you are.

You are not a bitch, you are fabulous.